Anorexia and Hope
|
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive
it? I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland. (Isaiah
43:18-19). Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed,
yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace
removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you (Isaiah 54:10). The
Lord has anointed Me (Jesus) to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy
for mourning…the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness, so that they
may be called trees of righteousness and the planting of the Lord, so that He
may be glorified. (Isaiah 61:3). |
The word anorexia comes from the Greek root
meaning "without appetite" or "without nourishment."
An eating disorder is
a symptom. The root issue is negative
thinking patterns. An eating disorder is
a consequence of one's attempt to get the inner hunger for unconditional love
and acceptance met by having a "perfect body."
Fat is not an
emotion. However, people can "feel
fat." It can be easier to say
"I feel fat" rather than to say "I feel sad." If someone does not know what to do with
these emotions or have a blocked awareness of these emotions, she may
experience shame and guilt for having such emotions. If she does not know how to manage these
emotions by acknowledging and entrusting the emotions to God, she may equate
"I feel bad" emotions to an "I am bad" identity. This is actually an opportunity to encourage
a loved one with an eating disorder to be honest with her emotions. The
purposes of a man's heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws
them out (Proverbs 20:5).
Food can be associated
with love, such as being soothed with a bowl of chicken soup when you are sick,
welcoming a new neighbor with fresh baked cookies, having cake on birthdays,
etc. Personal appearance is also
associated with love in this world.
Being told that food is love and also being told that being thin is love
can be a significant conflict with some people.
Reckless words pierce like a
sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12:18).
When young people
begin to reach puberty around 11 to 14 years old, their bodies begin to grow
taller and put on weight because of the increase of estrogen in their
bodies. Young girls may feel
uncomfortable and unloved as their bodies start to change, especially if they
change at a different rate or a different size than their peers.
A wrong belief
is: "I'm so fat that no one could
love me. I hate who I am. The only way I can be loved is to get my body
to the right size." The truth is: "The issue in life is not my size, but
to see myself through God's eyes. The
Lord loves me just as I am, and He has a perfect plan and purpose for me."
Jesus
promises, You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free (John
8:32). I have loved you with an
everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness (Jeremiah 31:3).
One of the keys to
ultimate recovery from an eating disorder is TOUCH. A non-verbal, meaningful way of communicating
love, touch brings validation and acceptance.
Princess Diana (who battled with eating disorders) said that human
contact made her feel stronger. Diana
was continually reaching out to the defenseless, while at the same time
desperately needing others to literally reach out to touch her. A
friend loves at all times (Proverbs 17:17).
People with eating
disorders are starved for unconditional love.
This love can be given to them through touching, requesting eye contact,
and spending much time with them. Hug,
hold, stroke, kiss, and touch your loved one as much as possible. Verbalize love using tender terms of
endearment such as "dear, precious, sweetheart, etc." What a
man desires is unfailing love (Proverbs 19:22).
Another way to show
love is to tell your loved one that you will relieve her of the responsibility
of knowing their weight. Whatever the
number is, her negative thinking tells her it won't be low enough. If she doesn't have a number to fight, that's
one less negative she has to deal with.
Another way to show
love is to seek permission to hand feed your loved one. Because a person battling anorexia has a
negative mind telling her not to eat, hand feeding can relieve her of the
self-imposed pressure of feeling the guilt and audacity of eating.
As you express love to
your loved one, don't be too discouraged if she does not respond at the
time. She desperately needs and is
inwardly crying out for unconditional love and acceptance. Carry
each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ
(Galatians 6:2).
Enlist others to
nurture your loved one with unconditional love "around the clock." A man
of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer
than a brother (Proverbs 18:24).
Consider seeking
support from a former anorexic. These
people know all of the tricks, such as poisoning their food, exercising under
the sheets, slipping food up their sleeves to discard later, cutting food up
into little pieces to give an appearance of eating, etc. These people also know first-hand the deep
hunger for love and the ultimate fulfillment of love in their lives.
Ensure that the
medical doctor is compassionate to seek building a deep bond of trust with your
loved one. Do not assume that all
doctors who treat anorexia are equally capable.
Blessed is the man who finds
wisdom, the man who gains understanding (Proverbs 3:13).
Both the parent and
the child have Christ in them to enable each to admit their inability to
control the eating disorder. Confess your sins to each other and pray for
each other so that you may be healed (James 5:16).
Both parent and child
have Christ in them to enable each to experience forgiveness that is essential
to healing. Each may need to forgive
themselves and people from the past. Bear with each other and forgive whatever
grievances you may have against one another.
Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
(Colossians 3:13).
A person with an
eating disorder needs to be nurtured to accept the truth about her
identity. She is a new creation in
Christ. Christ is her life – not food
and not compulsion. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with
Him in glory (Colossians 3:4).
A person with an
eating disorder needs to be nurtured in accepting the truth that her old
patterns have already died. Her old
pattern to control life by not eating has died through the cross of Christ and
no longer has to control her. I have been crucified with Christ and I no
longer live, but Christ lives in me. The
life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who love me and
gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20).
A person with an
eating disorder needs to be nurtured in the truth that she is totally accepted
by her Father no matter how she looks. To all who receive Christ, to those who
believed in His name, He gave the right to become children of God (John 1:12).
A person with an
eating disorder needs to be nurtured in the truth that Christ WILL produce His
control in her. It's not her control,
but Christ's control in her. I can do everything through Christ who gives
me strength (Philippians 4:13).
A person ministering
to a loved one with an eating disorder needs to be reassured that family and
friends will help, but freedom for the loved one comes only through Christ
living through family and friends. Because through Christ Jesus the law of
Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).
A person ministering
to a loved one with an eating disorder needs to be reassured that Christ is
living and active in the loved one, even when progress may not be
apparent. The eating disorder did not
start over night and will not be healed over night. Often there is a relapse when a person is
trying to recover from an addictive process; this does not mean that the person
has gone back to "square one."
Grace and peace be multiplied to
you in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ as His divine power has given to
us all thing that pertain to life…by which we have been given exceedingly great
and precious promises…for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your
faith…perseverance (2 Peter 1:2-7).
Resources
o
www.hopefortheheart.org
o
www.mercyministries.org
o
www.mercyministries.org/Summer_2006_WEB.pdf
Includes
information on CD set for young women entitled "Key to Walking and Living
in Freedom."
o
www.mercyministries.org/aspstore/pc-26-3-mercy-for-eating-disorders.aspx
Includes
information on book entitled "Mercy for Eating Disorders."